Its A Bomb Waiting To Go Off
by KeyStar11
Summary: A certain Akatasuki meets with a short alchemist and his metal brother, what could go wrong? Based on an RP with Dei (ShadowSilverLuv somethinsomethin)
1. I'm Not Short

**HAHAHA! I finally got into making this RP a fanfiction. Anyway, this is an RP me and my friend Dei did on ChickenSmoothie. Just so you know, basically everyone in this RP is insanely OOC so. justsayin. Al's here too. xD**

A tall, armored form walked beside a considerably shorter one. The smaller one who had been talking stopped midsentence, noticing an unconsious person on the ground. The armored one tilted his head. "Who is he, Brother?" His blonde brother shrugged. "I'm not sure," the shorter brother replied.

"Maybe we should see if they're okay..."

The blonde walked a bit faster toward them. When he was close enough, he noted the rising and falling of their chests, and said, "He's alive, just unconsious."

"Okay. Should we wake him up?"

He nodded, shaking the tall, blonde guy.

"Mmm..? Emiko, get off me..." the blonde guy mumbled.

"Wake up," Edward said, shaking him again. The blonde's eye squinted open and then he jumped back, yelling, "AGH!"

Ed sweatdropped, looking at Al as the blonde stood up. He was wearing some sort of long black jacket with red and white clouds on it. "Who are you people anyway?" the blonde growled.

"Edward Elric."

"Alphonse Elric."

_Brothers, huh? Figures._ "I'm Deidara."

Edward looked at Alphonse, then back at Deidara. "What are you doing in Amestris?" The Akatasuki member didn't answer, and Ed glared slightly. Suddenly, Deidara changed the subject. "That's your brother, right?" Ed, slightly taken aback, nodded hestitantly. "Older, right?"

Right then, Ed clenched his teeth. "ARE YOU CALLIN' ME SHORT?!"

"Maybe." Deidara grinned. The angered teen lunged at him, however Deidara sent a grasshopper bomb at him, revealing the mouth complete with a tounge and a set of teeth.

Stopping, Ed clapped and put his hands on the ground, creating a dirt wall to reflect the bomb. "Ah, interesting..." Deidara said as he attempted to identify what the boy had used.

"You don't know what I did?"

"Nope. Then again, I'm assuming you don't know what I did."

"I used alchemy. You?"

"Jutsu."

"Never heard of it."

"Never heard of alchemy."

Edward looked slightly dumbfounded. "I thought everyone knew about alchemy."

"I thought everyone knew about jutsu."

Ed, for no reason, glared at him again. "What's with the glare, Shorty?"

Angered, Ed lunged at him again. However, Deidara sighed irritably and stuck his hand on Ed's face, in which the mouth licked him. "Ew, you taste like dirt."

"Aw! Ew! That's gross!"

"Not as much as you as it was for me," Deidara replied, sticking his own tounge out in disgust. Glaring, Ed went over to a tree, clapped and hit the bark. It transmuted into a kind of hand around Deidara. The Akatasuki member grinned and melted into clay, the real Deidara popping up on top of one of the buildings. "Up here, Short Stuff!"

The alchemist growled again. _How'd he even do that?! I didn't even see him move!_

Deidara stuck his tounge out, and Ed clenched his teeth as Deidara continued. "You gonna give chase or bore me, Shorty?" Again, Edward growled and he raced toward Deidara. The black cloak-like jacket didn't seem to bother Dei as he jumped down, landing on the ground and running. Ed followed as Deidara turned a corner, fleeing. The alchemist followed behind the tall blonde, cursing him out as he ran, and Deidara was cackling and dropping bombs every few feet. Most of the times, Ed would dodge the bombs, however a few hit him and sent him sprawling backwards.

Deidara grinned at this, and jogged back just to watch Edward suffer. Ed got up, glaring at Deidara. This time, Dei laughed so hard that he fell on the ground, rolling around with tears on his face. Ed went over and tried to strangle him in a comical way. However, he was laughing to hard to breathe anyway and didn't fight back. Ed decided to make a comeback. "You sure you're a guy? I don't think I've seen a guy with hair this long..."

"Look in the mirror lately?!" Deidara growled in defense.

"You wear a dress!"

"Its not a dress! And at least I don't wear a corset and robe!"

"Its not a corset, its called a jacket!"

"Sure, sure."

Ed growled, getting a grin from Deidara in return. Ed still glared, unable to make a retort. "Anyways," Dei said, flicking his hair like a woman would, "it takes serious dedication to grow hair this long. Our hair grows slower than girls, you know." He closed his eyes in a snooty-like fashion. Ed sweatdropped, and Dei opened one bright blue eye. "What's with the look, Shorty?" Ed glared.

"Oh?" Deidara said, grinning. "Is the Shorty getting mad again?"

Ed, glaring, kicked Deidara's sighed with his automail leg.

"Oww! Damnit, Shorty, that hurt!"

Ed smirked, and Dei glared. "But surely this will hurt more..." He grabbed Ed's braid and kneed him in...well...where it hurts. Ed cringed, trying not to yell out in obvious pain.

"Heh..." He grinned once more, obviously trying not to laugh at the shorter male, before he let it out, soon coming into a hard-to-breathe state of laughter.

Edward stood up, still grimacing, and kicked Dei with his automail leg, this time much harder. Deidara was still laughing, and every time he gasped for air, he said, "Ow!" Ed was still glaring at him. Finally, he got up, slapping Ed's back encouragingly, however a few giggles escaped him every now and then. "Aw, come on, Shorty, I'm just messin with you.~" However, Ed still looked angry, looking up at Deidara. Grinning even wider, he jumped away.

Edward mushroom-sighed, and then Dei said, "Oops, I forgot about the bomb I slapped on you." Ed turned his head, eyes widening as he saw it. "Looks like I'm a little clumsy, un." He put his finger on his bottom lip in an innocent way. Ed glared. "Oh? Is the Shorty getting mad _again_?"

"Shaddap."

"Oh, I'm just _soooo_ offended!" He pretended to look hurt.

"Says the shemale."

"Shutup!"

Ed smirked, and Dei narrowed his eyes, threatening to activate the bomb.

Edward glared again.

"Not so tough now, are we?" Deidara said with a grin.

"Oh yeah?!"

"Yeah."

Ed clapped and hit the ground again, forgetting about the bomb. An arm made of earth came out of the ground and wrapped itself around Deidara. He grinned, hand still formed to activate the bomb under the rock. However, he waited.

Ed still glared, and Deidara said, "Go ahead, kill me, you'll still die."

"Fine, but maybe I won't if you take off this damned bomb."

"If I die you'll explode anyway, just as I said."

"Take it off!"

"No. You're my slave until I decide to take it off." He giggled uncharacteristicly.

"What?!"

"Yep. Now go put on a maid's dress and dance for me."

"NO WAY!"

"Relax, I was kidding!" Deidara said, rolling around in laughter. Ed glared again. "But really..." he continued, and looked at his new slave, "go slap an old person." Ed was tempted to say, _Do you count?!_ but held his tounge.

"No."

"Fine, do you like anybody?" He batted his eyelashes like a girl.

_And you wonder why I call you a shemale._ "No."


	2. Fireworks

**Back again, already xD yaya~~ Anyways, Chapter two!**

**Wait.**

**-Last time-**

_**"Fine, do you like anybody?" He batted his eyelashes like a girl.**_

_**And you wonder why I call you a shemale. "No."**_

"Do _you_?" Ed questioned.

"Me?" Deidara said, raising an eyebrow. "Of course not, there's only one girl in the Akatsuki and she's boring."

"Are you _sure_?"

"Of course I am!" his face reddened.

Ed smirked. " 'Course you are, 'course you are."

"Shaddap."

Still smirking, Edward continued. "So you have a girlfriend?"

"M-maybe," Deidara mumbled. His bright blue eyes darted back over to him. "What's it to you? Jealous?"

"Why would I be?"

" 'Cause of that gleam in your eyes," the tall blonde replied, wanting to annoy the alchemist.

"I'm not jealous!"

Dei rolled his eyes in amusement. "I'm just messin' with you, Shorty."

Edward looked clearly irritated, and Deidara looked clearly amused. "Shut up..."

"Oh, looks like my hand might accidently slip!" ((**A/N: Anyone else think of Soul Eater when they read that sentence?**)) he said, preparing to activate the bomb. The alchemist glared and got a grin in response. "Tch, I _hate _you."

"I love you too," he replied, closing his eyes and widening his grin.

"Good for you."

Deidara stuck his tounge out. "You're a boring slave."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. Hmmmm...is there a girl you're even close to?"

"Well, yeah, one, but she isn't around here."

"Damn, I was going to get you a girlfriend."

Ed sweatdropped.

"What?"

"Nothing. ...And I don't want a girlfriend. I travel too much."

"Oh? Why can't she just don't go with you?" Dei said, rolling from side to side*.

"I don't know. I've asked her before."

"Maybe you should just kiss her," Deidara replied, looking up.

"What? No!"

"Why not?"

"You don't just-y-never mind..." he turned around to walk away.

"Aww, someone's a little shy." The blonde appeared in front of the boy. "Where does she live?"

"Nowhere you know."

"I can easily find out." He raised his hand.

"Resembool," Edward replied, glaring.

Deidara grinned and playfully slapped at his cheek. "Good boy."

Ed looked irritated. "Oh, come on, don't be a sourpuss."

"Well, _why don't you leave me alone_?"

"Awww, cheer up." He squished Ed's cheeks like a baby, causing Edward to whack his hands away. "Does the Shorty-baby not like this treatment?" Al, nearby, sweatdropped.

"Shut up, shemale."

"I'm not a shemale!"

Ed smirked, but then Dei yelled out, "If I'm a shemale, you are too!"

"Am not!"

"Are so!"

Are not!"

"Are so!"

"ARE NOT!"

"ARE SO!"

Ed growled, fed up, and tackled him. Dei grinned and said, "I can still explode you, Shorty-shemale!"

"As well as yourself!"

"I think I'd be smart enough not to blow up myself, Shorty."

Ed flared, jumping on him again and trying to strangle him, and Deidara was cackling.

"DAMNIT!"

Ed kicked him like he had before, though Deidara grinned and moved his hand to activate the bomb...

...and exploded into a bunch of small fireworks, rather than kill Ed, and Dei, likewise, 'exploded' into laughter.

Ed looked as irritated as ever, and his face was red as Deidara continued to laugh, obviously pleased with himself.

"I give up..." Ed muttered, pouting in a random corner.

Deidara was still rolling in the dirt, laughing as Al sweatdropped. Ed was mentally cursing Dei out as the S-rank criminal was laughing. Deidara rolled onto Ed's foot because the alchemist had been glaring flaming daggers at him. Ed cursed, and Deidara grinned again. The alchemist was debating on kicking the Akatsuki member in the family jewels or not ((XDD)).

Deidara finally managed to stand up, and Ed looked away. "Oh come on, I was only kidding."

"..."

Since he was met by silence, Dei patted Ed's head like someone would a puppy, reciving a glare from Edward. "Quit it."

"Nah, I'm good."

"Gah, leave me aloneeee."

"Nope~"

Ed pushed him away, and Deidara walked right back up to him. Irritated, Ed walked away. "Awww, don't leaveee!" Ed ignored him and continued walking. Finally, Deidara walked up and tackled him from behind. "ACK!"

"Yayy~!" the bomber nearly suffocated the short alchemist.

Ed coughed. "Ge...off...me!"

"Nope!" he squeezed harder, rolling around. Ed was finding it hard to even talk now as Deidara continued to roll around with Ed in a death hug. The boy tried to knock Dei off, but he held on. "Get...off!"

"Noo!"

"Aghffff-!"

"Yay~" Deidara stood up and carried his apparent possession to Al, and Ed gave a look that said 'Help me'. Al watched wordlessly, sweatdropping.

"Alllllll..."

"Sorry, Brother, he might blow me up." This was a reference to the fireworks scare and Al had amusement in his voice. Edward scowled, then elbowed Deidara with his automail arm. All the older blonde said, though, was "Oww!" and continued to hold on to Edward.

"Let go of me, then!"

"No!"

Ed stepped on Dei's foot, getting comical tears from him, but Deidara's grip did not break.

"ALLL! PLEASE HELP!" Al shrugged helplessly.

"Not funny..."

"Actually, it's hilarious," Deidara said. "Anybody got a baby carrier?"

Fed up, Edward clapped his hands, making thik stone rise up and in the progress both breaking DeidarA's grip and incasing him in a box-like structure. However, Dei easily escaped it. However, in the time it took to explode the box, Edward went and hid behind Al. Deidara ran up and Al shoved his brother out from behind him, in fear that the bomber would cling to the tall armor suit instead. Ed yelped and started running, followed by Deidara, who threw off his coat in order to run faster. Ed stopped to use alchemy, creating a wall between them before running off again. Deidara exploded it and chased after his victim.

Ed kept running. "Jeez! Go away! You're clingy!"

"So?!" Deidara followed with a quicker pace.

"Leave me aloneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee !"

"No!"

"Grr..."

"HA!" he lunged for the boy, grabbing him by his boots.

Ed tripped, falling. "Agh!"

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Deidara clung to Ed's shoes mercilessly. Ed tried to kick him away, but Dei's grip didn't loosen as the Akatsuki member protested.

Ed sighed, realizing that the struggling was pointless and stopping. "Yay~" Deidara said, releasing his boots and crawling up to level with him, wrapping his arms around the tiny male in a constricting hug.

**Chapter two = done!**

*** I don't even know what he's doing at this point, he hasn't stood up yet and is just rolling on the ground xD lol**

**And, no, Deidara's not gay. XDDD Quote Dei: "I like to see Deidara thinking of Ed as a younger brother or son as their hair colors match, this making Ed a cuddle-object". So. Yeah. xDD**


	3. Mistake Made

**HAHAHA. Lmao Dei. Don't be embarresed, we'll be amusing many a person. xD**

**Anyways. Chapter three!**

_**"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Deidara clung to Ed's shoes mercilessly. Ed tried to kick him away, but Dei's grip didn't loosen as the Akatsuki member protested.**_

_**Ed sighed, realizing that the struggling was pointless and stopping. "Yay~" Deidara said, releasing his boots and crawling up to level with him, wrapping his arms around the tiny male in a constricting hug.**_

Ed muttered something under his breath, and Deidara heard him. "What was that?~" he said in an eerily happy voice. The alchemist shook his head, sweatdropping. Meanwhile, Al watched on. He took a step back. "Brother, I'm scared. Why's he hugging you?"

"I'd like to know that myself..."

Al didn't know what else to say, and he got an irritated glance from his smaller brother. "Get him off of me!" The suit of armor started to come towards them, Deidara flung a bomb at the suit of armor.

"Okay, never mind."

Deidara disabled the bomb which then fell off. Al stepped back then. "Can you let me up?" Ed said to Deidara, who, mumbling "Fine..." got off of his victim.

"Bout time..."

The bomber sent him a threatening glance. "I can easily do it again." Ed grimaced. "Don't."

"Then don't complain," the blonde replied with a grin. His grin widened in amusement as Ed looked away. The alchemist cleared his throat, then said, "Now, where were we before Mr. Clingy interrupted?" Again, Deidara sent the boy a threatening look. Al said, "Well, we were introducing ourselves..."

Ed and Al looked expectantly at Deidara*. "Well, apparently I'm Mr. Clingy," he said. Ed raised an eyebrow and Deidara rolled onto his back in bordem. Ed sweatdropped, and Dei looked up. "What?"

"...Nothin'."

"Mhmm," he said, then stretched on the ground. "Brr, I'm cold. Hey, Shorty, go bring me my coat." Ed glared. "No."

"Aww, pleeease? We wouldn't want you getting exploded again, would we?" he said, opening one eye.

Rolling his eyes, the alchemist went over to Deidara's coat and threw it at him. "Yay. Thanks, Shorty." Rather than put it on, he simply draped it over himself.

"Quit callin me short!"

"Nah, I'm good."

"Grr..."

Deidara grinned, sitting up. "What's the fun in not annoying you?"

"Just _shush_."

"Nope, I'm good." The alchemist lunged at him. Deidara fell backwards when Ed tackled him, and the alchemist started to strangle him. Dei grinned in immaturity as Ed tried to strangle him. This continued, Ed trying to strangle Dei and Dei laughing in hysterics. Finally, Deidara punched Edward in the stomach to make him let go. Ed coughed, loosening his grip but not letting go completely. Then, Deidara flipped the boy over so now his hands were on Ed's neck. "Do you yield?"

"No!"

"Okay then.." Deidara began to squeeze Ed's neck playfully. Edward flailed, and got another grin from Deidara. "How about now?"

"N. o." He squeezed harder.

"Brother!" Al cried.

"What about _now_?"

"Fine...fine! Just get off of me.."

"Yay!" he rolled off of Ed. Edward panted, growled and then stood up. Then he tackled Deidara again. "I'm not done yet!"

"Well, now we know who the real Mr. Clingy is!"

"Oh yeah!? Well, quit callin me short!"

"Sorry, Shorty."

Strangling him again, Edward growled as Dei continued to laugh. Edward kneed him twice, now getting tears of amusement and pain from Deidara. Then, the bomber, finding himself unable to breath, squirmed in amusement under Edward. The alchemist, glaring daggers, continued to strangle him mercilessly. Though unable to breathe, he choked out, "Shorty..."

Ed smirked, loosening his grip slightly and kneed Deidara-with his left leg-where it hurt. "Sweet, sweet revenge."

Immeditaly, he rolled over, moving Ed with him, rolling around in obviously excruciating pain. Ed let go and jumped off before he could be squashed, smirking. Finally, Deidara managed to throw an explosive at him. Eventually he recovered and looked at him with a ':C' expression, and slapped his hand onto the boy's face, the tongue dragging along his face. "Blarghargh!" Deidara grinned widely as the hand spat up soggy clay on the boy's face. Ed eyetwitched then. "Ack.."

"Now then..." he said, leaning down to the boy's ear. "Let's not do that again, capiche?"


End file.
